3 Steps to Get DEEP REST (even if you’ve forgotten how or don’t have time)
/In this week between Christmas and the January 1st New Year holiday, more people than ever begin to realize that they crave DEEP REST. And even though on a primal level we all know rest is a very natural and necessary human need, we still constantly struggle to recharge and nourish ourselves enough to truly thrive.
Meanwhile, plants and animals who haven’t forgotten the wisdom and rhythms of Mother Nature (like we have), have now surrendered to the dark, stillness of Winter, to receive the deep rest and nourishment that they need for their next big growth cycle, beginning in Spring.
Today I’m sharing 3 steps that will help you finally get the deep rest and nourishment that you crave, during this Winter pause or anytime you need it.
3 STEPS TO GET DEEP REST (even if you’ve forgotten how or don’t have time)
(1) REMEMBER the importance and power of deep rest
The first step to getting deep rest, is to remember why it’s so damn important to make time and space to consistently rest, nourish, and recharge yourself deeply (because society is constantly trying to convince you that rest is a luxury, not a necessity).
Imagine what a cellphone at 100% charge feels like. And now imagine one that’s at 1%? Too many people are trying to live life with a 1% charge, constantly stealing those few minutes here and there just trying to recharge enough to not collapse. (can you start to feel a difference in your body just imagining what that feels like? I can!)
Try asking yourself:
When was a time I felt deeply rested, nourished, and recharged? What did that feel like?
How did I show up differently for myself, my relationships, my work, etc. when I felt deeply rested and nourished? (How do show up when I’m exhausted, burnt-out, and overwhelmed?)
What would become possible (or change) in my life if I had a magic charger I could plug myself into to feel deeply rested, nourished, and recharged each day?
Once you reflect on those questions, you should start to have a better idea of why neglecting consistent deep rest and self-nourishment is so detrimental, and why it’s so important for you to heal your relationship with deep rest this Winter!
(2) UNLEARN the lies of capitalism and patriarchy
Have you ever wondered why it is that deep rest is so hard for us humans, even though it’s such a natural and necessary act (and even though plants and animals in nature seem to do it so effortlessly)?
It’s because as humans, we are living within the confines of oppressive systems (like capitalism and patriarchy) that have subconsciously programmed us with false beliefs and behaviors, that block us from prioritizing the deep rest we crave and need to thrive!
CAPITALISM has brainwashed you to believe things like:
“It’s only your ability to be productive, work, produce tangible results, and make progress towards goals that makes you valuable and thus deserving of rest (but not too much rest… just enough to not burn-out, get injured, and become unproductive)”.
“Rest (simply because you want it) without illness, burn out, or some terrible tragedy, is an act of weakness and laziness. And if you rest too much or for too long (without a damn good reason), then you must also be weak, lazy, and thus undeserving of abundance, success, and respect.”
Oh and let’s not forget about the lies that PATRIARCHY has fed you:
“Individualism, self-reliance, and being ‘self-made’ is the ultimate sign of strength and success.”
“And if you rely on community and others to help you, it’s just another sign that you’re weak, lazy, and a burden.”
Please know that these stories👆 are complete bullshit! And they create an extremely toxic culture that leaves most of us little time to rest, recharge, and nourish ourselves, as we work tirelessly to produce enough money for ourselves and families to survive (without expecting any support from friends, community, or our government).
And if you truly want to consistently get the deep rest you need (without feeling guilt and shame), you must begin to unlearn those toxic stories of capitalism, patriarchy, and any others that have been fed to you by family, teachers, bosses, or society.
(3) RELEARN the art of deep rest
Now that you know why it’s so important to regularly and deeply recharge yourself and what’s at stake if you don’t (step 1 above)… and you’re starting to see what’s blocking you from actually getting the deep nourishment you crave and need (step 2 above)… it’s time to re-teach yourself how to fully receive the deep rest that you need to truly thrive in your life this year!
Start by taking all of those toxic stories blocking you from receiving deep rest that you uncovered above, and reframe them into healthier beliefs and behaviors that support a consistent habit of deep rest and self-nourishment.
For example the toxic belief that,
“I only deserve rest after I’ve been very productive and gotten a lot done!”
Can be reframed into something healthier like,
“I deserve rest ANY TIME my body or mind wants it, no matter how productive I was or wasn’t today. Because when I am deeply nourished I can truly show up as my best self and experience more joy, love, and soul-aligned success.”
It’s also important to know HOW to actually receive deep rest and nourishment, so once you start using some of the mental reframes above you can follow them up with regular rest and self-nourishment rituals.
I see too many people that want to feel deeply rested and nourished, end up instead exerting more energy TRYING TO REST than ACTUALLY RESTING and recharging themselves. (sort of like plugging your dead cellphone in to charge for a few hours, only to return and find that, for some reason, it hasn’t charged at all!)
MAKE A LIST of all the things that truly nourish and recharge you. (my guess is it’s not collapsing on the couch exhausted, scrolling Instagram… even though that might resemble “rest”).
What are some things you can do to truly “fill up your cup”? And then give yourself permission to practice them this week, this Winter, and any time you crave deep body, mind, and soul rest!
I know that trying to maintain enough resources to keep food on the table, a roof over your head, maintain your physical health, care for your family, AND have enough time for deep rest and self-nourishment can feel like a daily battle in our current society!
And yet, I also invite you to work with the steps and questions above, and see what becomes possible when you bring a bit more awareness and effort into your “deep rest rituals” this Winter (and into the new year)!