5 Steps to Powerfully RELEASE Old Patterns & Blocks in your life this year
/As we transition into a new year, I start to hear a lot about the importance and desire to “let go of what no longer serves you”.
And while I wholeheartedly agree that “Releasing Work” is necessary and powerful (so much so, that I spend much of my January immersed in it), I don’t see much shared about HOW to actually do deep Releasing Work, beyond simply repeating some basic affirmations like, “I release what no longer serves me, to make space for the new!”
Prayers and affirmations can be a potent part of the releasing process, but on their own they don’t do much (in my honest opinion).
And so in today’s blog, I’d like to share 5 steps that I use to do my own Releasing Work in January (or anytime I want to release a block or non-serving pattern). And since all the steps begin with the letter “R” (and because I love alliteration), let’s call them…
The 5 “R’s” of Releasing
Plus I share a ✨BONUS STEP✨below, to help Supercharge your Releasing work 😉
#1 RECOGNIZE the need for releasing work
The very first step to doing releasing work is to recognize WHEN it’s time to do releasing work. A few signs I notice when it’s time to do some releasing are:
feeling really stuck somewhere (no matter how hard I try to get unstuck)
Something that was once flowing smoothly, starts to feel overwhelmingly out of alignment, blocked, or like it’s no longer working (and may even be impacting other areas of my life)
craving change or dreaming of something new, but feeling “weighed down by” or “shackled to” something (that won’t allow space for the new)
✨TRY THIS 👉ask yourself, “Am I experiencing any of the above symptoms in my life right now?”
#2 RESOURCE yourself
Once you recognize that there may be a block that needs to be released, it’s important to assess if you’re feeling RESOURCED ENOUGH to do some deeper releasing work, in that moment.
“Releasing Work” is not a passive, relaxing practice. It requires focus, intention, and energy, and so it’s important to make sure you’ve got the resources for it, before diving in.
Feelings of “stuckness” or resistance are often accompanied by difficult emotions. And, when difficult emotions are present and not skillfully processed, we can become dysregulated in our nervous system and disconnected from our body. And too long in that ungrounded and dysregulated state can lead to overwhelm and exhaustion.
And you never want to try to engage in releasing work when you feel dysregulated, ungrounded, overwhelmed, or exhausted (it won’t be effective and you’ll just drain yourself more!).
Instead, first make sure you’re adequately “resourced”. Meaning you:
feel GROUNDED and “SAFE” in your body (not stuck in a fight-flight-freeze state)
are CONNECTED to your inner wisdom & ability to make conscious choices (not stuck reacting unconsciously from fear or unprocessed emotions)
feel relatively NOURISHED and RESTED (not overwhelmed, exhausted, or burnt-out)
✨YOU MIGHT TRY 👉resourcing yourself with mindfulness meditation🙏, getting outside to connect with nature🌳, breathwork🌬, a nap💤, a bath🛀, or even taking a break from healing work all together💃 to do something fun or rest deeply (without the need to “fix” or change anything for the moment)!
#3 REFLECT on what’s “RIPE” for releasing
And now, let the releasing work begin! Once you’ve recognized a need for releasing work, AND you’ve determined that you feel adequately resourced for the work… the next step is to clarify what feels RIPE (or ready) to be released.
This step is important! It’s the heart of releasing work (and sadly also the most overlooked part).
Just like fruit has a life cycle and stage of RIPENESS (when it’s ready to be consumed, digested, and expelled)… so do our “blocks” and “old patterns”.
You can’t release anything before it’s ripe and ready.
And things are most ripe to be released when 1️⃣you’re currently experiencing the negative impacts of it on your life (don’t try to release everything at once just because it sounds like something that should be released), 2️⃣after it’s served its purpose (aka. you’ve digested the wisdom and lessons from it). If you try to release something before that, it often just won’t work.
If When you work to release something and it lingers, it simply means you’ve either got deeper reflection work to do on the block, OR you simply need more time to release it (see #5 below). The important thing is… don’t beat yourself up.
Releasing is an art, and practice… not an exact science!
Also remember things you perceive as “blocks” or “old patterns” were likely created to serve you at some point in your life, when you didn’t know a better way. And part of the releasing process is also to HONOR the old, while slowly training your body to TRUST that the new way will also keep you safe (and serve you even better!)
✍️During this step I do a lot of deep REFLECTION and JOURNALING. And I consult with my favorite oracle system the I CHING䷊ (Tarot also works well!) to:
✔️UNDERSTAND the root causes + impacts of the blocks,
✔️CREATE A LIST a list of specific patterns, fears, behaviors, mindsets, relationships (or relationship dynamics), etc. that aren’t working or don’t feel aligned anymore.
✔️DIGEST and CELEBRATE the wisdom, lessons, and blessings from each one.
It’s important to take your time here. Get specific and get to the root of the block. If you’re too vague or superficial with what you want to release, it won’t be as effective.
‼️Simply saying, “I release procrastination” may not be as effective as taking the time to understand the deeper causes and effects of your procrastination habit. For instance, “I release perfectionism and my fear of being judged as not expert enough, that is causing me to get overwhelmed daily and procrastinate in reaching out to new potential clients.”
**NOTE: if you’re in any sort of toxic or unsafe situation, don’t worry about if there’s more to learn or if it’s ready to be released. You can absolutely physically “release” (remove yourself from) the situation, and then move through these steps to do more energetic releasing work once you’re safely away. (and in fact, you will often find that it is nearly impossible to do step #2 above until you’ve created a safe distance from the toxic situation anyway.)
#4 REPLACE the old with something new & aligned
Once you’ve got some clarity around what feels ripe to be released, it’s important to make sure you dream🔮 into what NEW THING you want to REPLACE the old one with + make sure it feels ALIGNED!
As you release something, an empty, fertile space is created. And if you have NO IDEA WHAT NEW THING (ie. mindset, behavior, system, relationship, situation, etc.) you’d like to replant in that space, you’ll often find the very thing you just worked so hard to energetically release, will re-sprout in your life once again.
Or if you CHOOSE SOMETHING TOO FAR OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE, or too unfamiliar to your body or mind, it may not stick either (and you’ll revert back to the old).
Again, that’s why I say releasing work is an art and practice, not an exact science! It takes time, intuition, and experimentation to truly discover ❓What’s ripe to be released, AND what’s the new thing that feels aligned to take its place❓
✨TRY THIS 👉 VISUALIZE the new behavior, mindset, or pattern you’d like to embrace.
SEE THE IMPACT it has on all parts of your life, the lives of your loved ones, and the world around you!
FEEL THE IMPACT in your body as you embrace and become the new.
ASK: Does it feel aligned (ie. exciting, expansive, easeful, and maybe a little scary too)? Or does it feel unaligned (ie.contracting, terrifying, dreadful, or make you want to run or hide)?
ADJUST accordingly.
#5 REPEAT in REAL-TIME
And not only do you have visualize the new pattern you’d like to replace the old with, you must also replace the old belief, behavior, or other pattern, with the new one in REAL-TIME.
Think of it like this. Your OLD PATTERN is like a plant🌱 growing within you now. You’ve been watering it for years and each time you choose that old mindset or behavior, it’s like you’re nurturing it to grow even stronger. You must stop watering it!
The NEW PATTERN you want to grow is like a baby seed {,} planted within you now. It has the potential to grow strong, but you must water it consistently by consciously choosing it instead of the old pattern, as much as possible.
This is how you train your mind and body to release an old pattern and embrace a new one! Through real-time, conscious repetition!
BONUS STEP: RITUALIZE it
This step is OPTIONAL, but I wanted to mention it briefly because a huge part of my personal releasing practice involves “RELEASING RITUALS”. They’re something I picked up in my college days of dabbling in witchcraft and spell-casting, and I’ve found them to be incredibly powerful when combined with the above steps!
Rituals are powerful in 2 main ways.
☝️Rituals help with CONSISTENCY (which as I mentioned above is essential in releasing work), because they can easily be scheduled as part of your regular self-care practices.
When you learn to work with energetic cycles and seasons as I have, you discover that certain times are more powerful for releasing work. And so, I tend to schedule releasing rituals in during these times, simply as part of my regular self-care practice.
For example ANY ENDING is a powerful time for releasing work, which is why I schedule releasing rituals each year ✔️during the month of January (which marks the end of a year) + monthly ✔️during the Waning Moon Phase (which marks the end of a moon cycle).
✌️Rituals SUPERCHARGE YOUR RELEASING WORK by powerfully channelling your energy through a set of symbolic actions or words (or sacred objects) + performed with strong focus and devotion for a specific intention (in this case, to let go of certain non-serving patterns).
This is where releasing prayers or affirmations🙏, fire ceremonies🔥, cord cutting visualizations✂️, drumming or sound healing🎶, and other releasing practices that you may have heard of can come into play.
Or even simply letting your body release in whatever way it craves- crying, yelling, hitting a pillow, shaking, movement, cutting up a picture of a past relationship, etc.
REAL TALK ON RELEASING WORK:
Releasing work often takes a good amount of TIME, CONSISTENCY, MINDFULNESS (of both mind and body), and radical SELF-COMPASSION.
The more attached you are to the old pattern (or the more connected it is to old trauma)… the more effort and/or professional support the process may require.
It’s common for releasing work to happen over MONTHS, YEARS, or even LIFETIMES (like in generational trauma healing work!).
It’s normal for releasing work to feel really awkward, uncomfortable, unnatural, and to bring up a lot of grief or shame. It gets a bit easier with time and practice.
If you’re not getting any shifts on your own, don’t beat yourself up! REACH OUT (another “R”, ha!) to a professional to help guide you.
And finally, here are some signs that your releasing efforts are working🙌:
you’re more aware of when you’re choosing the old pattern.
you remember to choose the new pattern more (even just 1% more!).
the new pattern begins to feel slightly less uncomfortable (and eventually more effortless).
as you embrace the new pattern more, you start to experience the bigger changes you desire in your life!
Whoo! I didn’t plan to write this much, but this is a topic very dear to my heart and often misunderstood or watered down in the online space!