6 Lessons Nature Taught Me About Growth & Successfully Reaching Big Goals (without burning out!)
/Everything useful I’ve learned about growth, I learned from Nature- NOT from mainstream society.
In fact, I didn’t stop spiraling in anxiety and burn-out enough to making any real, lasting progress towards my bigger dreams and goals until after I started UNLEARNING all the toxic BS about growth that our capitalistic, hustle culture (which breaks every natural law) brainwashed me to believe!
One of my most beloved teachers of growth lately, has been the robin. Each Spring, my backyard becomes home to lots of very vocal robins ready to find mates and raise offspring.
And for the past several Springs, I’ve had the sacred honor of watching mama robins build their nest and nurture their babies beneath the roof of an old well, just a few feet from where I sit for my morning meditation! And each year, I witness her growth process unfold like this…
After finding her mate, she spends days persistently gathering twigs and dry grass to build her nest. When she begins spending entire days in the nest, I know she’s laying eggs and working diligently to keep them safe and warm until they hatch. Once she leaves the nest and starts her daily flights back and forth carrying worms and berries, I know her babies have been born and she’s gathering food for the hungry little hatchlings!
And finally after weeks of this intensive food foraging, I notice her perched in various spots around the yard watching over her babies who’ve now grown into fledglings learning to fly. A couple times over the past few years, I was lucky enough to witness the precise moment a fledgling awkwardly tumbled from the nest and adorably bopped around the grass (not quit having the skills to fly just yet), while mama and papa stood on protection duty, day and night, until their little fledgling had grown up enough to fly and fend for itself.
This whole grow process takes over a month. And then after a short break, where the nest lays empty, mama and papa robin eventually return to repeat those same growth efforts one or two more times throughout the Summer.
Here are 5 lessons about growth that I learned from observing Nature and especially my robin neighbors as they successfully grow offspring year after year.
LESSON #1: Growth requires PERSISTENT ACTION
As I watched my backyard robins persistently show up for months and take the necessary actions to grow their offspring, I was awed by how much work went into the whole process, and yet how they were able to ENDURE from start to finish (without the long episodes of breakdowns or burn-out that seemed to plague me every time I pursued a big goal).
🤯 And then it hit me- a huge reason I was struggling to reach my bigger goals and dreams was because I hadn’t yet figured out how to SUSTAIN persistent action long enough to reach my goals!
Instead, my actions always felt super sporadic and inconsistent. I’d start out strong for a few weeks, but then quickly get stuck in long periods of anxiety, overwhelm, procrastination, or “self-sabotage” patterns that would derail my momentum, and make me feel like I was constantly starting over from scratch!
🧘♀️After this realization, I began contemplating:
❓What is the secret to mama robin’s persistence? And how can I sustain persistent action, without constantly breaking down or burning out before making lasting progress towards my goals?
And then I heard an answer 👉 Growth must feel EASEFUL.
LESSON #2: Growth must feel EASEFUL & NATURAL to be sustainable
In watching mama robin, I was struck by the grace and flow she seemed to possess despite the very real work her “goals” required, the constant threat of predators (like the blue jay perched on the fence looking for its next meal), and the unexpected hardships she experienced (like her little fledgling I discovered laying motionless in the grass the morning after I watched it leave the nest!).
But none of that stopped mama robin from continuing to persistently show up for her ultimate goal of raising as many offspring as she could. Because the actions she took to ✔️build her nest, ✔️incubate her eggs, and ultimately ✔️raise her babies, must have felt relatively NATURAL and EASEFUL enough for her to sustain, for as long as she needed to, without being so hard or overwhelming that she couldn’t complete each task.
In that moment I had a couple big AHA’s🤯 …
First, I finally admitted to myself how UNNATURALLY HARD it almost always felt for me to pursue my goals, and how so many of my daily tasks were met with massive resistance- that I had mistakenly assumed was an inevitable part of the growth process, but was actually a sign I was striving towards my goals in unnatural and unsustainable ways (and headed towards burn-out).
Unlike mama robin, I’d been drinking the hustle culture kool-aid that brainwashed me to believe the lie that growth was supposed to feel hard! And so I was operating from toxic mindsets like, “no pain, no gain”, or “growth can’t happen in your comfort zone”.
And second, I was reminded of the Buddhist concept “Right Effort”, which in a broad sense says that if we have to sacrifice our peace and joy to do things, then we are using “wrong” (or unaligned) effort to pursue our desires and will continue to suffer.
I then knew that if I truly wanted to reach my goals without burning out all the damn time, I must INSIST on discovering ways to pursue them that felt easeful and natural for ME (that honored my own unique values, visions, needs, strengths, nervous system capacity, etc.).
Just to be clear… I’m absolutely NOT saying growth work will always feel easy and without resistance. It won’t!
Creating anything new often brings us to our own growth edges to do some uncomfortable inner healing work. Not to mention, just trying to survive in a late-stage capitalistic society requires absurd amounts of money and effort (which is why the end game for all of us must be to dismantle these unnatural oppressive systems and build more equitable ones)!
What I am saying is this…
If the pursuit of your goals always feels like an uphill battle of forced striving that constantly causes anxiety, “self-sabotage” patterns, or burn-out (or requires you to push yourself forward with intense willpower or harsh discipline), then you are stuck in “wrong effort”. And you will always feel like you’re sacrificing your peace and joy for success, and will never be able to endure long enough to create the bigger growth and changes you desire in your life (and the world).
As someone who was self-diagnosed as autistic and adhd late in life, I’ve suffered deeply trying to pursue my goals in ways that 💯 did not work for my neurodivergent brain (all the while feeling resentful from constantly sacrificing my peace and joy for any sort of progress!).
🧘♀️After the realization, I began contemplating:
❓What makes mama robin’s actions feel easeful and natural enough for her to successfully complete the long, persistent work of building a nest, incubating her babies, and nurturing them until they’re ready to fend for themselves?
And then I heard an answer 👉 You must learn how to be in right relationship with your resources.
LESSON #3: Growth requires you to be in RIGHT RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR RESOURCES (both inner and outer)
Hustle culture teaches us that all we need to create growth in our lives is ✅a DREAM and ✅HARD WORK.
And so I’d set out towards my goals fueled with a hopeful dream, excitement, and enough willpower (and coffee!) to fuel my growth efforts for a period of time. But then, I’d hit a wall that no amount of coffee, mindset work, or shaming myself to hustle harder could overcome!
And like clock-work, I’d find myself frozen on the couch, for days or weeks, binging Netflix… too wired-tired to actually get the rest I so desperately needed… and beating myself up for being “lazy” and not working hard enough!
But eventually I learned from Nature that there’s a third crucial ingredient for growth. In addition to ✅a dream and ✅hard work, we also need (🥁🥁🥁drum-roll please)…
✅ADEQUATE RESOURCES to fuel our growth work!
For mama robin those growth resources are things like a mate, a safe space to build her nest, access to food and water. Without consistent access to these resources, no matter how much she wants to grow offspring or how hard she works at it, she won’t succeed!
For us humans (beyond housing, food, and clean water…. which costs way too much under capitalism!), we must also consider resources like how much time, energetic capacity, mental/emotional bandwidth, money, skills, and support we have as we pursue our goals.
And rather than following the lead of Nature and staying in right relationship with our resources as we pursue growth, so many of us under the spell of hustle culture:
❌ never stop to realistically assess the resources we NEED to sustain our daily lives + reach each specific goal. And if we do…
❌ massively UNDERESTIMATE the amount of time, energy, money, skill, support, etc. it’ll take (like why do so many entrepreneurs think it’s the norm to build a successful business, from scratch, in a year…. while working another full time job?!),
❌ massively OVERESTIMATE the actual level of resources WE HAVE ACCESS TO at any given moment (like why do so many folks create plans and expectations that require 💯 energetic and mental capacity, and then feel shocked when their capacity fluctuates, they’re not at full productivity every day, and a goal takes much longer to acheive than they thought?! Oh, it’s because ya’ll forgot you’re human and not machine 😂).
❌ feel a constant sense of FALSE URGENCY around reaching our goals- which makes us extract our resources way too quickly without any rituals to regenerate them each day & week (and taking a short vacation a few times a year is probably not enough to regenerate you if you’ve been burning the candle at both ends for months!). Thus causing ourselves very real financial scarcity, time scarcity (aka. urgency), or energetic scarcity (aka. burn-out) that can take months or years to recover from.
Whether we’re talking about backyard robins or human, the truth remains the same…
‼️If you don’t ✅have access to the right resources that your goals need to grow and ✅maintain a healthy relationship with those resources, no matter how badly you want to reach your goals or how hard you hustle, ❌you simply won’t have the capacity to endure the long journey to fully create them!
🧘♀️After this realization, I began contemplating:
❓ What’s the secret to staying in right relationship with my resources (so I have the fuel I need to sustainably take action for the months or years it very well could take to reach my bigger goals and dreams)?
And then I heard an answer 👉 Growth is CYCLICAL & SEASONAL (not linear). / Growth happens CYCLICALLY & in DIVINE TIMING.
LESSON #4: Growth is CYCLICAL (and can’t be rushed)
Hustle culture teaches us that growth is linear and comes from forcing ourselves into a perpetual growth season of constant action-taking, productivity, and progress. But hopefully you’re beginning to understand that this is 100% unnatural and unsustainable (and quite frankly, deeply extractive and harmful) for all of nature (which includes YOU- because humans are nature too!).
And that👆toxic mindset is exactly what kept me stuck on the hustle-burnout hamster wheel for YEARS, fueling my crippling anxiety and almost making me give up on the pursuit of my dreams all together!
Nature, on the other hand, teaches that in order to maintain a healthy relationship with our resources and for growth to be sustainable long-term (aka. you’re not constantly burning out or breaking down before achieving your goals), growth must be approached CYCLICALLY- not linearly.
In other words growth happens as we consistently flow through a 4 “season” cycle:
we PREPARE for the growth work as our resources become more abundant (aka. SPRING),
we mindfully SUSTAIN the persistent growth work without depleting all our resources and burning out (aka. SUMMER),
we COMPLETE the growth work, or we PAUSE IT when resources become too depleted to persist (aka. AUTUMN),
we RECEIVE REST + REGENERATE OUR RESOURCES (aka. WINTER).
One night during some ADHD fueled googling, I learned that adult robins typically have 1-3 separate broods (aka. nests of eggs hatched at one time) per year. The factor that determines whether they’ll lay 1 or 3 broods in a year, is the amount of resources they have access to. If resources are abundant enough, they’ll stay in a “Summer” growth season longer and have up to 3 broods. But, if resources become too scarce, then they’ll stop having offspring, and start to shift into a season of rest to allow resources to regenerate until next Spring.
You CAN NOT rush growth by forcing yourself to stay in a constant “Summer” season of persistent action-taking and progress-making (aka. linear growth).
Trying to rush or force bigger, faster growth this way will only slow you down in the long-run, because you’ll spend much of your time and energy trying to recover from breakdowns and burn-out (and repairing the harm you’ve done to yourself and your relationships from taking unaligned actions rooted in ungrounded, depleted states… ask me how I know 😬).
The most natural path to successful growth (aka. aligned growth that lasts) is learning to recognize and honor your resource levels and the season you’re in at any given moment… and then allowing yourself to flow through each of those 4 energetic seasons (over and over again) until you fully manifest your bigger dreams.
And in fact…
Most of our big dreams and goals are more like an apple tree 🌳, that can take several years (and dozens of seasonal growth 🔄regeneration cycles to produce fruit and reach full growth.)
But we treat those big goals more like tomato plants 🌱, unrealistically expecting to see the fruits of our labor and full manifestation in months. And so we approach our resources (eg. time, energy, money, etc.) with an EXTRACTIVE mindset, thinking we can just go all in and hustle hard enough to reach the finish line fast, and then sit back to rest and enjoy our success.
But instead we end up depleting all of our resources before we reach the finish line, sending ourselves into a pre-mature “Winter” season where we’re forced to abandon our half grown “apple tree” goal before it can produce fruit (and then mistakenly assume we failed because we’re incapable of accomplishing that goal, instead of acknowledging that we simply used our resources unsustainably, and burnt-out).
🧘♀️And so, I began contemplating:
❓ How can I stay connected to my bigger far reaching dreams that could take years to grow, while staying in persistent action towards my goals AND in right relationship with my fluctuating resource levels and natural growth cycles each day and week- all without getting totally derailed by everyday obligations, distractions, or dysregulation?
And then, the answer came to me 👉 You need an ALIGNED, SUSTAINABLE PLAN
LESSON #5: There is no personal growth without COLLECTIVE CARE
This is the newest lesson I’ve been learning over the past couple years. Nature teaches us that we exist and grow within collaborative, reciprocal ecosystems- not as individuals in a vacuum. And so it’s both a sacred responsibility and necessity to consider the impact of WHAT we’re working to grow, and HOW we’re choosing to grow it- to ensure that we’re not harming others or our planet in our growth pursuits.
If everyone attempted to live by this lesson, so many of our world’s problems wouldn’t exist!
When you harm the very ecosystems that provide you with the resources you need for growth, you inadvertently hinder your own growth capacity.
Mama robin gave me a lesson in collective care as I watched her work to grow offspring all those months. One day I saw lots of these little red berries dropped on the well her nest was built above. I remember thinking how cool it was that I had wild raspberries growing in my yard, and I went to search for them. Sure enough, growing right next to her nest and farther away in the woods just beyond my yard, I saw all these wild berries that I’d never seen before!
I later learned that as birds drop berries while they fly and poop, they disperse seeds that help those plants grow. So by gathering food to nurture her babies mama robin also cared for her ecosystem, which then provided her and her family with more food the following year. RECIPROCAL, COLLABORATIVE GROWTH!
Our hyper-individualistic hustle culture, encourages us to “lift ourselves up by the bootstraps” to grow our goals on our own, and to take as much as we want in the process, without considering the impact to our relationships or planet.
In doing this- we inadvertently create a scarcity of resources which leads to anxiety inducing urgency to grow and create more resources fast!
THIS IS NOT THE WAY OF NATURE, AND NOT THE WAY TO SUCCESSFUL, SUSTAINABLE GROWTH.
I love the way one of my business teachers, Simone Seoul, calls marketing a form of “community care” and encourages us to be generous with our free stuff, trusting in the power of reciprocity. If folks deeply benefit from your free stuff they’ll be more likely to buy your paid stuff if and when they’re ready, or refer you to a friend.
While many other business coaches (brainwashed by extractive, individualistic capitalism) encourage us to hold back on sharing too much for free, judge “freebie seekers” who consume our free stuff but never buy from us as “unaligned”, “not willing to do the work”, or “not worthy your time”. Yuck!
CTA: FREE TRAINING: The Art of Aligned, Sustainable Growth: 3 Steps to creating a “Growth Plan”, that helps you sustain persistent, easeful action & stay in right relationship with your resources so you can reach your bigger goals with out constantly sacrificing your joy, burning out, or breaking down!
Sign up to get access to my [free Summer Series + workbook] “5 STEPS TO CREATING AN ALIGNED, SUSTAINABLE PLAN (that allows you to reach goals and manifest dreams, without burning out first!)”
[skip and just add above 1 sentence CTA???]LESSON #6: Growth requires a PLAN that feels aligned & sustainable to You.
When I thought about mama robin, it occurred to me that she clearly had a plan on what needed to be done each day to ✔️find a mate, ✔️build a nest, and ✔️nurture her babies from egg until they could survive on their own. She wasn’t just winging it each day (no pun intended).
It made me realize how much I struggled with PLANNING!
I’d either spend so much time trying to create the perfect plan to reach my big goals- only to abandon the plan out of overwhelm, distraction, or frustration that it didn’t lead me to success.
Or, I’d abandon planning all together and just pursue random, inspired tasks, projects, and actions each day hoping they’d lead me to my goals.
Mama robin seemed to have an aligned, sustainable plan that allowed her to make persistent progress in a way, and at a pace, that deeply honored her resource levels and didn’t constantly overwhelm her or keep her reacting from a state of fight, flight, or freeze.
It took me many years to figure out how to create the type of deeply aligned, sustainable plan that did all that👆
But I finally feel like I’ve figured it out, mostly (there’s always more to learn, right? 😉)
And that’s exactly what I’m going to be sharing in my free series this month.